I was feeling into something(s) at the weekend & wrote a note in my phone: “angry feminist” to come back to & explore a bit more here on this blog. See if you’re with me on this.
Whether or not you “identify” yourself with a “feminist”, or if you pick and choose a more empowered, equal, sovereign, harmonized way of being (which is the way I lean, not a fan of labels), I want to share what activated me to write this.
Here are things I am so over:
womxn who think a world without men is better
memes like, “my vibrator is better than my boyfriend”, “who needs a man?” (y’know the ones)
How I see this is toxic feminism. It’s subtly indulging victim-hood mentality, as well. And it’s immature, unintegrated BS. IMHO.
It’s vital that we embrace the H U G E importance of integrating the healthy mature masculine in our work with feminine empowerment. Not fighting it. Truthbomb.
Not assuming all men are shit. Not lumping all men into the “rapist” / “shit lovers” / “good-for-nothings” categories on first judgement.
Nor even holding the view that it’s society “to blame” as such & hiding underneath the inequality crying “woe is me” or the other energy of “FUCK THEM ALL”. But instead moving into a place of compassion, not combat, to appreciate the world we live in is equally wounding our masculine as much as our feminine. And how that shows in the embodiment of these energies in men, womxn, and non binary beings.
It’s the toxic takeaways and residues from the past millennia that have been leached into our culture, that need remedying. And to do so, we need to rise above it, not fight it with our own separatism, toxic rhetoric, jokes, or memes.
Yes, feel the fire. Yes, get inspired by what there is to DO, to CHANGE, to CREATE. Yes, allow yourself to express your rage – but be conscious as to how and onto who & what is the desired outcome. Who is it serving? What is it supporting? Is it for self-expression & alchemy, or is it fuelled by poisonous retaliation?
So I invite you with this to take a moment & inquire:
Where am I encouraging and upholding the outdated “angry feminist” energy?
Where am I equally as toxic in my beliefs (so how can I detox)?
Where do my blanket statements or finger pointings keep me blinkered & limited?
This is something that I have been addressing deeply with my 1:1s and is becoming a cornerstone of the three/six-month mentorship journey. Because it takes a loooong time to unravel the conditionings and programs around this!
We work to dismantle our internalised Patriarchy. One that has been absorbed without us knowing. One we’ve been fed through our education system, white supremacist history lessons, lacking sex ed &/or porn, our own families…
So I provoke my clients to question;
How are you upholding and playing out an inner patriarchy, suppressing the truth of your own feminine & masculine?
How are you telling your feminine she is “too much”?
How is she retaliating in defence?
How are you emasculating your inner man?
How are you playing out the toxic wounded behaviours we see mirrored around us, within your internal reality?
The (your) masculine is so ready to be healed so that he can stand in his strength & potency. He desires to serve & to be there for your feminine, to witness her without judgement, to hold space for her wild emotions, chaos & passion.
The (your) feminine is so ready to feel safe & honoured by her strong masculine, she wants his loving protection. She is done with fighting it out to win her place with the “big boys”. She is ready to be seen and loved in all her authenticity, devoted to endlessly by a committed penetrating presence.
So, what you can you, from today onwards, to change up your inner paradigm & patriarchy & come back into sacred and powerful union?
King & Queen
Warrior & Wild Woman
This rebalancing & harmony is something we explore in my Mentorship, an opportunity to nurture your Inner Masculine while along a journey called “Feminine Awakening” because you can’t awaken one energy without the other. When we call in our feminine, our masculine awakens with her.
So, when we nurture one, we nurture its true polarity.
If this is something you’re curious to learn more about, perhaps this intimate container is the one for you.
Spaces re-opening in April, you might consider applying.
NB: I speak here of universal energies, not a gendered masculine = men, feminine = women.
© 2023 Fiona McCoss